Monday, May 03, 2004

Ten Feet (not Twenty) Overhead - (second draft)

Up ahead
To my right
Around the point before me
A burst of squawks and the
Beating of heavy wings
Filled the air

The head and then the long endless body
Rose before me
Right over
The spine of my canoe
The heron
Blocking my vision

No more than ten feet above
My open jaw
And transfixed eyes.
It flew toward me
Thwump, thwump
I heard the wings breaking the
Early morning stillness around me

The majestic bird
Cupped its sails
And hovered for a moment,
Or a lifetime,
Directly above my right shoulder

Each feather was visible -
Rust, cream, slate,
And light blue eye shadow.

The feet and legs stretched behind
Tows pointed to cut through the air

My head rolled backward to watch
The bird fly off
Across the lake


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edited August 21, 2015
Ten Feet Overhead – v9
(editing version 6)
edited December 9, 2014
Ten Feet Overhead – v8
(editing version 6)
edited April 3, 2014
Ten Feet (not Twenty) Overhead – v7
(editing version posted 5/3/2004)
Edited September 20, 2012
“Ten Feet Overhead – v6”
editing the 4th version (the one with Marie Harris input)
&
Edited September 20, 2012
“Ten Feet Overhead – v5”
(editing the 3rd version)
inspired by reading it at Poets’ Corner
monthly poetry reading,
at the Suncook Senior Center
September 10, 2012
&
Saved as separate file and reposted
September 20, 2012
published version – 2/7/2004
“Ten Feet Overhead – v4”
Written June 18, 2001, edits June 21 and June 22, 2001, based on input from NH Poet Laureate, Marie Harris.
&
The evolution of the poem - Ten Feet Overhead”
The three drafts below represent the evolution of a poem, "Ten Feet Overhead", based on a morning on Swains Lake in Barrington, NH in 2001, reading down from 1st draft to a second version, finally to the published version, posted here on 2/7/04. 
&
“Ten Feet Overhead – v3”
June 21, 2001
“Ten Feet Overhead – v2”
June 22, 2001
“Ten Feet Overhead – v1”
June 18, 2001


All of my poems are copyrighted by Raymond A. Foss, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015. All rights reserved. Contact me at Ray Foss for usage. See all 38,980+ of my poems at www.raymondafoss.blogspot.com Poetry Where You Live.

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