Friday, May 11, 2012

I agree with President Obama. Same-sex couples should be able to marry.

I understand to some extent the journey that President Obama has spoken of this week on the evolution of his view on same-sex marriage. My position on gay marriage has evolved over time. I probably haven’t been as sensitive or loving toward those who are gay as I probably should have been during my life. I have even been approached by people who were gay who thought I was and wanted a relationship with me when I was in high school.

Same sex coupling doesn’t make sense to me biologically, as the parts are meant to intersect for procreation. If that is all that coming together in a loving relationship means, then it doesn’t fit.

Then again, because of the harsh response from much of society, at least until recently, I do not believe that homosexuality, bisexuality, or even transgender is necessarily a choice for many people. I believe that is who they are. Calling who someone is a sin is incredibly corrosive and hurtful. I do believe some people may choose this lifestyle; but I also believe we don’t know fully what is genetic and what isn’t.

I believe it is certainly possible that God makes gay people, straight people, even biologically confused people. God makes black people, white people, handicapped people, left-handed people, right-handed people, those who need glasses, those with diabetes, those with asthma, etc.

Loving relationships are rare, or so it seems in our current age. People look for love in all the wrong places, as the song goes. When we find it, we want to cherish it, and hold onto it. There are many same-sex couples that have been just as faithful and long-lasting, as have opposite sex couples. The beloved children’s book author and illustrator Maurice Sendak died this week and he talked of a 50-year relationship.

I believe same-sex love can be just as genuine as heterosexual loving relationships. And there can be the same negative treatment as we see in heterosexual relationships. There is no end to the harm humans seem to be able to heap on each other.

With regard to the entangled church and state nature of what marriage is and should be, I think we need to step back and look at it pragmatically.

My personal belief is that the government never should have been the body to issue marriage licenses. That is a loaded term, rich with religious doctrine and dogma. The government should have issued civil contracts allowing couples to join in the civil sense. Because of the merging of church and state, until recently, couples who wanted to live together were not protected under that system, whether they were gay or straight. They could not visit their partner in the hospital, didn’t have rights in probate, for health insurance, etc.

It should have been churches that did religious weddings. The whole history would have been different. My wife Ruth and I got the best of both worlds. We were first married civilly by a beloved person who was a justice of the peace and then, after going through the process required by our faith, we had a wonderful church wedding (combining a wedding service, a renewal of vows service, and an anniversary service).

But there was not this division of duties in the law. The law blends religious and secular values in loaded terms in the secular law. Marriage, as opposed to other civil unions, (whether same-sex or people of opposite sexes), has different legal rights in our country. That is why it is important that we have a civil law answer to this situation.

That does not solve the religious law and language issue, as was quite evident at the United Methodist quadrennial General Conference late last month and early this month.

At the General Conference, and throughout the denomination, there are differences of opinion on same-sex couples, gay marriage, and on whether a GLBT person should be allowed to become ordained, whether or not they are active in a particular sexual act or not. The General Conference could not even agree to state that the members of the denomination are not of one mind on these issues, even though we clearly are. In the end, more conservative was added to our church’s law.

And that does not solve civil society’s reality that there are many states now where same-sex marriage, not just civil unions, are authorized under the law. We now have different law across the country. And we have the situation where some who can marry in their state cannot be married within their faith.

All of this is to say that I come out about where President Obama does. We should love our neighbors as ourselves. And we should go beyond that. We should love them as Christ loved us, sacrificing all, even laying down his life that we may live. His two commands were to love God and love our fellow man. That to me, means seeing them as of sacred worth and deserving of the equal protections of the law that we have, as flawed as they are.

If we could unscramble the egg and separate the secular and the religious this might be simpler, but we live in a world with not only black and white but a lot of gray and the spectrum of the rainbow. In the structure of our law that blends religious and secular rights, same-sex couples should have equal rights.

I respect those that come to a different conclusion and I pray they will respect my right to have this opinion.


May 11, 2012
Comments posted to my Facebook about my statement I supported President Obama
&
President Obama’s statement on Gay Marriage Equality
on May 9, 2012
http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2012/05/09/president-obama-supports-same-sex-marriage
&
poems written May 3, 2012
inspired by United Methodist Church General Conference
GC2012 – discussions in morning session
poem today, “You are Sin”
http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2012/05/you-are-sin.html
&
earlier poem, “You Must be Mistaken”
http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2012/04/you-must-be-mistaken.html
April 28, 2012
Passage of Paragraph #304.3 language in committee at
United Methodist General Conference 2012
http://www.umc.org/site/c.lwL4KnN1LtH/b.8029511/k.8489/General_Conference_2012__The_United_Methodist_Church.htm
barring ordination for same-sex candidates, those guilty of pre-marital sex, and adultery.
http://calms.umc.org/2012/Text.aspx?mode=Petition&Number=994
http://salvagedfaith.wordpress.com/2012/04/28/questionsimplications-re-paragraph-304-3-gc2012/
&
earlier poem, “Grieving in my spirit – v2”
http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2012/04/grieving-in-my-spirit-v2.html
edited April 29, 2012
&
and earlier poem,
“I am broken, I am hurting”
http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2012/04/i-am-broken-i-am-hurting.html
April 29, 2012
Luke 24:13-16
Luke 22:19
Luke 24:30-21
Luke 24:13-35
Walk to Emmaus
Matthew 28:18-20
The Great Commission
Postscript:
“The Words After That”
Final Words from the Cross
http://www.cokesbury.com/forms/ProductDetail.aspx?pid=9781426746802
by Reverend Adam Hamilton
http://www.cokesbury.com/forms/bookstore.aspx?contributorid=3827
http://www.facebook.com/RevAdamHamilton
https://twitter.com/#!/RevAdamHamilton
&
Matthew 25:31-46
The Sheep and the Goats
&
Matthew 28:18-20
Great Commission
&
Luke 24:13-35
Walk to Emmaus
&
path of my wife to the United Methodist Church
after she felt the call to ministry
and was told that her church (Baptist)
did not believe women serving in the pulpit
was consistent with scripture.
&
John 8:1-11
&
Samuel Thompson’s
http://www.facebook.com/#!/keleayon
Inclusion Essay
shared at the New England United Methodist Church
Annual Conference
http://www.neumc.org/pages/detail/195
in response to call by Reconciling Ministries Network
http://www.rmnetwork.org/
for essays describing, “My vision for an inclusive church”,
June 10, 2011


All of my poems are copyrighted by Raymond A. Foss, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012. All rights reserved. Contact me at Ray Foss for usage. See all 21,910+ of my poems at http://www.raymondafoss.blogspot.com Poetry Where You Live.

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