mindful, putting on Christ
loving as God does
from beginning to end
a new creation
within God’s love
to truly love
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impendiments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds
Or bends with the remover to remove.
I thought through the message of this text and the message in all the sonnets of Shakespeare, regarding the nature of love and what he thinks it is and came to realise the guy had a deep concept and perception of what love is. Amazingly, there are people who think the guy was in a depressed mood and wanted to choose between getting married and not. But, beyond this and other sonnets, Shakespeare seems to be thinking through the nature of love, trying to define it and trying to make out one of the world's most abstract and misunderstood concepts.
So, what is love? Shakespeare says at the end of the poem
If this be in error and upon me proved
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
Do we not love such expressions. Many of my friends believe love is one of the things I never get into. They believe I am very indifferent regarding any social contact. It is even amazing that they can hear me say to them that I love them. Those that have gotten the shock of the expression have finally come to be dawned upon (sic) that I actually mean it when I say I love them. There is a whole world of meaning in the expression because we all have different perceptions of what love is.
1: Sex: Yeah, that is one of the most base definitions of love. In its sense, it is eros, fuelled by erotic feeling and what in the world we call erotica. We think we have to prove to the other person that we love them and so sleeping with them will make sense. I have to say I have been called weak in that sense because I have not been in any kind of intimate relationship. I find it amazing that the world even thinks about that as the best way to express love. This is one reason as to why I failed to forgive Clara in D. H. Lawrence's Sons and Lovers because she let the little boy fail to explore his sexuality. Is love sex? That is yet to be proven. All I know is that before we are married, my loved one and I cannot have any physical contact. I call that respect for the other person, but also the understanding that our love for each other goes beyond simply the passions of bodily desire. Otherwise, when they are on a sick bed, should I say I no longer love them because we cannot engage in sexual intimacy? That is up to you to decide.
2: Material Things: Yes, because we love people, we give them gifts (I see a friend of mine laugh at this one), but truth be said, gifts and things of material nature are part of any blossoming relationship. When one loves someone, they are willing to share a part of their wealth with that person. Now, do not get me wrong in this regards, wealth, like sex cannot take paramount position in any love relationship. I believe love goes beyond material things. Isn't the vow one of good and bad times, sickness and health, riches and poverty? How many of us would easily change that vow if given the chance. Even in friendships where money takes the lead, the person loves yhe money not you or your friendship. FOr me it is simple, material wealth and things do not make sense until we realise that they cannot have the say in defining love or the people we are.
3: My Time and Blood: Yes, that is what we all like, the possessive us are always itching to have something in our way. We say we cannot live without the other person, we cannot eat without them, we cannot be as long as they are not. That is what I call suicide with knowledge. it is utter madness. That is the type of not love but infatuation that kills anyone slowly. As we try to possess people, we fail to realise that we are actually putting them in no trouble at all. In fact, we are crating a horrible world for ourselves, making them have control over us. When we become jealous, we are indeed saying we cannot control ourselves. When we think they should be with us alone, we are being imature, showing our insecurity with them and proving that we are not worth them at all. We are indeed saying they should not have a life of their own, but should be appendaged to us. MADNESS! People are born free and cannot always be forced to do waht we want. If we do this, we are manipulating them towards our own gratifications and that simply sucks. I do believe there must be a time when people are together, but it makes no sense if they must be imprisoned in the name of love. My time and blood theory does not make sense, except for humans that do not know what they are into relationships for.
4: Do It, I reciprocate: That is the most absurd concept. Yes, love is reciprocal, but for the positive. I believe it cannot always be vengeful and must never make the attempt to be so. It is sheer stupidity that of a friend or loved one does something, one should run for the nearest weapon and deal with it accordingly. That is pride, a failure to come to terms with the reality of humanity, failure to come to terms with the fact that we are all prone to mistakes. Love that pays back is as good as poison slowly killing the body system. It makes no sense because i is going to be enslaved to the good things even when we have to pretend, and that is not worth it. Reciprocating evil for evil is vengeance and does the good book not say, leave Vengeance to God?
So then what is love? When I say I love someone, whether a friend or loved one, it goes beyond the words. It means I have been able to see the picture God had in mind when creating the person. It also means that I am willing to accept them for who they are. I am willing to go out of my way to do my best to make our relationship work, at all costs. Love to me is not a simple word, it is a whole expression of action, thought and philosophy. It goes beyong bodily contact, beyong material things, beyond possession of the other and definitely, beyond any attmept to hit back for the wrongs. That may sound Platonic, but truth be said, until we are able to visualise and conceptionalise God's nature of love for us, we are fooling ourselves and others that we love them. God loves us no matter who or what we are. He was willing to give us a second chance and all we have to do is accept that love and live for and in it. Love is that world that may turn the world mad but for the better of life's expectations.
If Shakespeare was right, I too shall be right. The essence of his first lines is in the fact that love never dies, but grows with humans as they discover each other. The English say it takes two to tangle. Love is the same spiral. Unfortunately, or even fortunately, it is the type of tangling where we are willing to bring more aboard. We are willing to let more realise its nature and will share it out. Is it not said Love believes all, fogives all and receives all. No perfect way to summarise its nature. Paul knew what he was dealing with and gladly went for it. Love is beyond the physical. It is something begun in heaven, brought to us on earth and made beautiful by its very own creator. In all, He gave us chance to experience His own and very being that we may get it out to others and accept that it does not matter what, He is the perfect example of what love is.
So, the next time I say I love you, it comes from the depth of me, it sees you in God's very light, and is willing to spread the boundaries of simple relationship. It means I have gone out of my way to understand you the way God would want me to, to experience pain and sorrow and joy and happiness with you no matter what it costs. It means I am willing to go the extra mile to give you another chance even when we fail each other, it means I will not give in to the temptation of refusing to forgive wrongs, because I many times fall off the track. it means I am spilling over to you what God has shared with me, His very self. In essence, I am saying, God is love and because it dies not, our friendship and relationship goes to the very embers of my soul, the very essence of my being, the very nature of what God made me. If God is Love, that is m y definition of it, because like it, He will live forever.
And like Shakespeare says in his amazing sonnet
If this in error and upon me be proved
I never writ, nor no man ever loved
Finally, I LOVE YOU.