Co-parenting with her rapist – v4

Her nightmare unending, each word triggering,
his smirk, his facial expressions a dagger, a threat,
her constant pain, PTSD, violence remembered,
co-parenting with her rapist…
 
Afraid of the father of her unwanted child,
but bound to him by law, process, procedures,
mandated by the State, the oppressor,
trying to remain the Friendly Parent…
 
Knowing all too well his manipulation, amygdala hijack,
the Law’s bias, the pushing, being backed into a corner,
seeking only to love, to raise her children
behind her tears, her brave face…
 
Confined within the strictures, the structure, the laws,
forced to be bound at the hip, co-parenting,
with the Beast at the other table,
his power, his anger which she hates…
 
============
Edited July 19, 2024
Co-parenting with her rapist – v4
 
edited May 12, 2022
Co-parenting with her rapist – v3
https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2022/05/co-parenting-with-her-rapist-v3.html
edited May 11, 2022
Co-parenting with her rapist – v2
https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2022/05/co-parenting-with-her-rapist-v2.html
May 11, 2022
Co-parenting with her rapist
https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2022/05/co-parenting-with-her-rapist.html
edited May 11, 2022
Cries of the battered woman – v4
https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2022/05/cries-of-battered-woman-v4.html
edited September 9, 2015
Cries of the battered woman – v3
http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2015/09/cries-of-battered-woman-v3_9.html
http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2015/09/cries-of-battered-woman-v3.html
(editing version 2)
Edited November 25, 2012
Cries of the battered woman – v2
http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2012/11/cries-of-battered-woman-v2.html
November 17, 2011
Cries of the battered woman
http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2011/11/cries-of-battered-woman.html
 
 
All of my poems, photographs, and videos are copyrighted by Raymond A. Foss, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023 and 2024. All rights are reserved. Contact me at Ray Foss (raymondafoss@gmail.com)  for usage. See all 53,000+ of my poems at www.raymondafoss.blogspot.com  Poetry Where You Live.
 
 
Faith, God, love, grace, calling, purpose, power, law, judgment, justice, family, servant, hope, listening, patience, children, family law, divorce, abuse, friendly parent,
 
#Faith #God #love #grace #purpose #power #law #judgment #justice #family #servant
 
==============================
poetry, Faith, God, love, grace, law, judgment, justice, family, children, family law, divorce, abuse, friendly parent, custody, parenting time, visitation, abuser, rape, assault, Roe v. Wade, Roe Overturned, co-parenting, parental rights, child support, Trump, Vance, 
 
#poetry #children #familylaw #friendlyparent #custody #visitation #abuser #law
 
#poetry #children #familylaw #friendlyparent #custody #visitation #abuser #law #rape #assault #RoeVWade #RoeOverturned #coparenting #parentalrights #childsupport #Trump #Vance

Co-parenting with her rapist - v3

Her nightmare unending, each word triggering,
his smirk, his facial expressions a dagger,
her constant pain, PTSD, violence remembered,
co-parenting with her rapist.
 
Afraid of the father of her unwanted child,
but bound to him by law, process, procedures,
mandated by the state, the oppressor,
trying to remain the friendly parent.
 
Knowing all too well his manipulation,
the law’s bias, the pushing, being backed into a corner,
seeking only to love, to raise her children
behind her tears, her brave face.
 
Confined within the strictures, the structure, the laws,
forced to be bound at the hip, co-parenting,
with the Beast at the other table,
his anger which she hates.

 

============

edited May 12, 2022

Co-parenting with her rapist – v3

https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2022/05/co-parenting-with-her-rapist-v3.html

edited May 11, 2022

Co-parenting with her rapist – v2

https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2022/05/co-parenting-with-her-rapist-v2.html

May 11, 2022

Co-parenting with her rapist

https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2022/05/co-parenting-with-her-rapist.html

edited May 11, 2022

Cries of the battered woman – v4

https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2022/05/cries-of-battered-woman-v4.html

edited September 9, 2015

Cries of the battered woman – v3

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2015/09/cries-of-battered-woman-v3_9.html

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2015/09/cries-of-battered-woman-v3.html

(editing version 2)

Edited November 25, 2012

Cries of the battered woman – v2

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2012/11/cries-of-battered-woman-v2.html

November 17, 2011

Cries of the battered woman

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2011/11/cries-of-battered-woman.html

 

 

All of my poems, photographs, and videos are copyrighted by Raymond A. Foss, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022. All rights are reserved. Contact me at Ray Foss (raymondafoss@gmail.com)  for usage. See all 53,000+ of my poems at www.raymondafoss.blogspot.com  Poetry Where You Live.

 

 

Faith, God, love, grace, calling, purpose, power, law, judgment, justice, family, servant, hope, listening, patience, children, family law, divorce, abuse, friendly parent,

 

#Faith #God #love #grace #purpose #power #law #judgment #justice #family #servant

 

==============================

poetry, Faith, God, love, grace, law, judgment, justice, family, children, family law, divorce, abuse, friendly parent, custody, parenting time, visitation, abuser, rape, assault, Roe v. Wade, Roe Overturned, co-parenting, parental rights, child support,

 

#poetry #children #familylaw #friendlyparent #custody #visitation #abuser #law

 

#poetry #children #familylaw #friendlyparent #custody #visitation #abuser #law #rape #assault #RoeVWade #RoeOverturned #coparenting #parentalrights #childsupport

Co-parenting with her rapist - v2

Her nightmare unending, triggering,
pain, PTSD, violence remembered,
co-parenting with her rapist,
the father of her unwanted child,
mandated by the state, the oppressor,
trying to remain the friendly parent.
 
Knowing all too well his manipulation,
the law’s bias, the pushing, backed into a corner,
seeking only to love, to raise her children,
within the strictures, the structure, the laws,
forced to be bound at the hip, co-parenting,
with the Beast at the other table.
 
============

edited May 11, 2022

Co-parenting with her rapist – v2

https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2022/05/co-parenting-with-her-rapist-v2.html

May 11, 2022

Co-parenting with her rapist

https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2022/05/co-parenting-with-her-rapist.html

edited May 11, 2022

Cries of the battered woman – v4

https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2022/05/cries-of-battered-woman-v4.html

edited September 9, 2015

Cries of the battered woman – v3

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2015/09/cries-of-battered-woman-v3_9.html

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2015/09/cries-of-battered-woman-v3.html

(editing version 2)

Edited November 25, 2012

Cries of the battered woman – v2

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2012/11/cries-of-battered-woman-v2.html

November 17, 2011

Cries of the battered woman

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2011/11/cries-of-battered-woman.html

 

 

All of my poems, photographs, and videos are copyrighted by Raymond A. Foss, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022. All rights are reserved. Contact me at Ray Foss (raymondafoss@gmail.com)  for usage. See all 53,000+ of my poems at www.raymondafoss.blogspot.com  Poetry Where You Live.

 

 

Faith, God, love, grace, calling, purpose, power, law, judgment, justice, family, servant, hope, listening, patience, children, family law, divorce, abuse, friendly parent,

 

#Faith #God #love #grace #purpose #power #law #judgment #justice #family #servant

 

==============================

poetry, Faith, God, love, grace, law, judgment, justice, family, children, family law, divorce, abuse, friendly parent, custody, parenting time, visitation, abuser, rape, assault, Roe v. Wade, Roe Overturned, co-parenting, parental rights, child support,

 

#poetry #children #familylaw #friendlyparent #custody #visitation #abuser #law

 

#poetry #children #familylaw #friendlyparent #custody #visitation #abuser #law #rape #assault #RoeVWade #RoeOverturned #coparenting #parentalrights #childsupport

#Co-parenting with her #rapist

A nightmare unending, triggering,
pain, PTSD, violence remembered,
co-parenting with her rapist,
the father of her unwanted child,
mandated by the state, the oppressor,
trying to remain the friendly parent.
 
Knowing all too well his manipulation,
the law’s bias, the pushing, backed into a corner,
seeking only to love, to raise her children,
within the strictures, the structure, the laws,
forced to be bound at the hip, co-parenting
with the beast at the other table.
 
============

May 11, 2022

Co-parenting with her rapist

 

edited May 11, 2022

Cries of the battered woman – v4

https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2022/05/cries-of-battered-woman-v4.html

edited September 9, 2015

Cries of the battered woman – v3

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2015/09/cries-of-battered-woman-v3_9.html

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2015/09/cries-of-battered-woman-v3.html

(editing version 2)

Edited November 25, 2012

Cries of the battered woman – v2

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2012/11/cries-of-battered-woman-v2.html

November 17, 2011

Cries of the battered woman

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2011/11/cries-of-battered-woman.html

 

 

All of my poems, photographs, and videos are copyrighted by Raymond A. Foss, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022. All rights are reserved. Contact me at Ray Foss (raymondafoss@gmail.com)  for usage. See all 53,000+ of my poems at www.raymondafoss.blogspot.com  Poetry Where You Live.

 

 

Faith, God, love, grace, calling, purpose, power, law, judgment, justice, family, servant, hope, listening, patience, children, family law, divorce, abuse, friendly parent,

 

#Faith #God #love #grace #purpose #power #law #judgment #justice #family #servant

 

==============================

poetry, Faith, God, love, grace, law, judgment, justice, family, listening, patience, children, family law, divorce, abuse, friendly parent, custody, parenting time, visitation, abuser, co-parenting,

 

#poetry #children #listening #patience #children #familylaw #friendlyparent #custody #visitation #abuser #law

 

#poetry #children #familylaw #friendlyparent #custody #visitation #abuser #law #rape #assault #RoeVWade #RoeOverturned #coparenting #parentalrights #childsupport

Cries of the battered woman – v4

Her voice too shrill,
her anger surging up,
yet trying to be “friendly”;
Tears rising from her soul
triggered pain bubbling up.
 
I can hear them now,
authentic, all too real,
cries of the battered woman;
Standing all alone beside me
seeking only justice.
 
============

edited May 11, 2022

Cries of the battered woman – v4

 

edited September 9, 2015

Cries of the battered woman – v3

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2015/09/cries-of-battered-woman-v3_9.html

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2015/09/cries-of-battered-woman-v3.html

(editing version 2)

Edited November 25, 2012

Cries of the battered woman – v2

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2012/11/cries-of-battered-woman-v2.html

November 17, 2011

Cries of the battered woman

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2011/11/cries-of-battered-woman.html

 

 

All of my poems, photographs, and videos are copyrighted by Raymond A. Foss, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022. All rights are reserved. Contact me at Ray Foss (raymondafoss@gmail.com)  for usage. See all 53,000+ of my poems at www.raymondafoss.blogspot.com  Poetry Where You Live.

 

 

Faith, God, love, grace, calling, purpose, power, law, judgment, justice, family, servant, hope, listening, patience, children, family law, divorce, abuse, friendly parent,

 

#Faith #God #love #grace #purpose #power #law #judgment #justice #family #servant

 

==============================

poetry, Faith, God, love, grace, law, judgment, justice, family, listening, patience, children, family law, divorce, abuse, friendly parent, custody, parenting time, visitation, abuser,

 

#poetry #children #listening #patience #children #familylaw #friendlyparent #custody #visitation #abuser #law

#poetry #children #familylaw #friendlyparent #custody #visitation #abuser #law #rape #assault #RoeVWade #RoeOverturned #coparenting #parentalrights #childsupport

Cries of the battered woman – v3

Her voice too shrill

her anger coming up;

Tears rising from her soul

the pain bubbling up

I can hear them now

the cries of the battered woman;

There alone beside me

seeking only justice

============

edited September 9, 2015

Cries of the battered woman – v3

(editing version 2)

Edited November 25, 2012

Cries of the battered woman – v2

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2012/11/cries-of-battered-woman-v2.html

November 17, 2011

Cries of the battered woman

http://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2011/11/cries-of-battered-woman.html

All of my poems are copyrighted by Raymond A. Foss, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015. All rights reserved. Contact me at Ray Foss for usage. See all 39,190+ of my poems at www.raymondafoss.blogspot.com Poetry Where You Live.

Thoughts of a Judge before a Custody Trial

Email posted to the NH Family Law List Serve – July 3, 2012

Judge Paul Garfinkel of the 9th Judicial Circuit Family Court, Charleston County, SC (http://www.judicial.state.sc.us/familycourt/displayfcjudge.cfm?judgeid=4103), made the following comments he made prior to a recent custody trial.
Reprinted here with permission

"I want to make a few comments to you about how important it is to your family to resolve this case. I know that both of you sit here today; each of you are convinced of the merit of your own case and the righteousness of your own position. However, asking your attorney to convert your convictions and beliefs into evidence that will result in a verdict in your favor is asking for what I believe the most difficult task that a trial attorney can be required to do.

A custody case is much different than any accident case or a criminal trial. In those cases, an attorney is only asked to prove what happened at a specific date and place. All of the events have been fixed and are unchanging. A custody case is much different. You are asking your attorneys not to paint a picture in time but to present a movie. The movie must show over a broad range of time how each of you parent. Then, I must decide which of you is the better parent.

Can you imagine if you had to prove that DaVinci’s “Last Supper” was a better painting than Michelangelo’s “Creation” and say that you had to prove this to someone who had never seen either painting, and you weren’t allowed to show the paintings to them?

I suppose you could hire the curator of the Metropolitan Museum of Art who would come to court and testify about composition, color, depth, character, and proportion. Or I suppose you could bring in some ordinary people to say which one they think is better. Maybe you could take a poll.

This is what you are asking your attorneys to do in this case. They have to prove to me which is the better parent, but they have no way of showing me exactly how you parent. They can’t take me to the study sessions so I can see you how a good tutor Dad is. They can’t bring me into your child’s bedroom at 5 a.m. to see how Mom confronts the child who is awakened with a fever. I want you and I want your attorneys to bring up those incidents which show you to be caring and loving parents, and I am sure they will try.

However, it is more likely that they will be forced to show the other parent at his or her worse. Neither of these efforts will work very well. In trying to prove the positives you will discover that with the passage of time the inability of witnesses to describe the situation with the same force with which it occurred, just the difficulty of putting into words other peoples thoughts, feelings and actions, all of these combine to make grey what you felt was vivid or blunt what you thought was poignant.

On the other hand, the negatives will seem to make you look like the worse parent that ever lived. Did you ever send one of your children to school without [their] lunch? Did you ever forget to give one of your children [their] medicine? Did you ever say about your child “I could have strangled her?”

We probably have all done those things, and it will be presented as if you are the most neglectful or abusive parent. At the end of the trial any goodwill each of you had for the other, if there is any, will have been totally destroyed.

It is both of you who must be parents of these children until either you or they die. Neither I nor any of these lawyers . . . will be there for you for the remainder of this long journey. We could try to do our best to get you pointed in the right direction and maybe even help you along, but it is only in the first few steps. In the end, it is both of you who must raise these children.

If your children could reach into their hearts and tell you exactly what they think and feel about what is going on here, if they could get beyond the hurt we know they must feel, we all know what they would say. First they would say, “I wish Mom and Dad were back together.” Knowing this will not happen, they would say, “I wish they would just stop fighting.”

No doubt they love you so much they are probably blaming themselves for your original breakup. It is time you get past the anger and put aside the hurt. You may even have to forgive.

The pain that has been caused here arises from the conflict between each of you and has nothing to do with the children. Your children want this conflict to end. You have the chance to leave here today with an agreement that is in the best interest of your children. But it is an agreement that you must reach together. You must be willing to put aside your differences and be willing to accommodate each other’s needs. But most importantly, you must be ready now to put the needs of your children first.

I know that your children want you to settle this case. You can do the right thing and you can start now. Put aside what has happened in the past.

This is the judgment day for your children. It’s not about you. And think about the additional damage you are going to cause to these children.

I can tell you right now it has happened, and it happens every time. Put aside your own egos and swallow them. Leave it in this courtroom. We’ve had a lot of egos left in this courtroom. You don’t see them, but I do because I see parents who are willing to put their children’s welfare above their own ego. And they leave it right here and they know and understand what is really best for the children."

Ex Parte

Sitting, far from still
In the hall, waiting,
Waiting for word
From the court
Would my emergency relief
Be granted today, while I wait
While the client waits
With me, to hear.
Small talk, deep talk,
Of the case, of life
Of fiat, of fees,
Of the parking meter,
The need for another cigarette,
Something to do, to fill
The beating of the clock.
Would our facts be enough
To change the orders,
To protect them?
Waiting, not knowing,
Even assented, because
It is the Master’s,
The Judge’s call. Ex parte.

September 7, 2007 20:36

All of my poems are copyrighted by Raymond A. Foss, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012. All rights reserved. Contact me at Ray Foss for usage. See all 21,410+ of my poems at http://www.raymondafoss.blogspot.com Poetry Where You Live.