in despair, taking

an exploring, a revelation on my journey,

longing for what was taken from me,
sabotaging my life in secret, in silence,
layer after layer of scar tissue,
not seeing a way out of my pain
the hurt deep down within me…
 
in despair, acting out, angry,
taking control, autonomy, agency,
all that had been taken, stolen,
the hole created within me an idol,
wanting to reclaim myself,
to be able to walk in freedom…
 
not trusting God to protect me
in my secret pain, my struggle,
a false sense of my identity,
of the flesh, of the world,
the carnal nature of man
not the love of Almighty God…
 
only in tearing away the scar tissue
the defense mechanisms, the terror,
Finding healing on the journey
longing for a turning, a changing,
confession leading to repentance,
turning my life, my will to God…
 
==============
July 21, 2025
in despair, taking
https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2025/07/in-despair-taking.html
re:generation, Step 4, Inventory, Appendix C, “Abuse Supplement”, page 134.
July 21, 2025
Written July 7, 2025

only God can forgive us
https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2025/07/only-god-can-forgive-us.html
Based on #Luke5:21
Based on #Psalm51:1-6
re:generation, Step 5, Confess, Week 1, Day 4, “Confess Sins to God”
July 18, 2025
In the eyes of God – 2
https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2025/07/in-eyes-of-god-2.html
Based on #Proverbs29:25
re:generation, Step 6, Repent, Week 2, Large Group, July 14, 2025
further discussions in Small Group
 
All of my poems, photographs, and videos are copyrighted by Raymond A. Foss, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, and 2025. All rights are reserved. Contact me at Ray Foss (raymondafoss@gmail.com)  for usage. See all 53,000+ of my poems at www.raymondafoss.blogspot.com Poetry Where You Live.
 
Poetry, poem, God, Christ, Spirit, love, grace, regeneration, Luke 5, Psalm 51, sin, confession, prayer, repentance, sexual sin, adultery,
 
#poetry #poem #God #Christ #Spirit #sin #confession #prayer #repentance