I listened to the lie of Satan

I felt pain in losing her,
feeling alone, abandoned,
wandering in my world…
I did not know what to do,
only questions with no answers…
 
He touched me there
unwanted, unexpected,
a shock radiated through me…
my body reacted, my flesh,
involuntary, unplanned…
 
I felt revulsion, terror, panic,
shame upon me, a blanket,
when my body reacted…
I had to run away,
as fast as I could…
 
I sat in my room, in terror,
feeling alone, abandoned,
I became mute, burying my pain…
I could never speak of that moment
for twenty-five long years…
 
I felt shame, pain, guilt,
God’s judgment was upon me
for a sin I never committed…
I believed in the lie of the Devil,
that I was the one at fault…
 
I listened to Satan, my flesh,
When my body reacted
feeling alone, abandoned…
I was angry at God already,
for my pain, my loss of her….
 
==============
Edited July 28, 2025
I listened to the lie of Satan
 
re:generation, Step 4, Inventory, Appendix C, “Abuse Supplement”
3/31/01, in the morning,
Assault (written but never posted)
about the sexual assault against me in the Summer of 1973 in Westfield, MA
Edited July 28, 2025
I listened to Satan – v2
https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2025/07/i-listened-to-satan-v2.html
Edited July 27, 2025
Satan whispered a lie – v2
https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2025/07/satan-whispered-lie-v2.html
Edited July 27, 2025
shame for a crime – v3
https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2025/07/shame-for-crime-v2_27.html
July 27, 2025
my body reacted – v2
https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2025/07/my-body-reacted-v2.html
August 22, 2024
Family Secrets – Revised – v6
https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2024/08/family-secrets-revised-v6.html
July 1, 2004
Family Secrets
https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2004/07/family-secrets.html
July 21, 2025
sin opened a door
https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2025/07/sin-opened-door.html
July 21, 2025
It was always Satan
https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2025/07/it-was-always-satan.html
Based on #Psalm 22:1
July 21, 2025
one pivotal moment
https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2025/07/one-pivotal-moment.html
July 21, 2025
lost, damaged, stolen
https://raymondafoss.blogspot.com/2025/07/lost-damaged-stolen.html
 
All of my poems, photographs, and videos are copyrighted by Raymond A. Foss, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, and 2025. All rights are reserved. Contact me at Ray Foss (raymondafoss@gmail.com)  for usage. See all 53,000+ of my poems at www.raymondafoss.blogspot.com Poetry Where You Live.
 
Poetry, poem, God, Christ, Spirit, love, grace, regeneration, sin, shame, inventory, confession, prayer, repentance, sexual sin, adultery, sexual assault, Me Too, Psalm 51,
 
#poetry #poem #God #sin #shame #sexualassault #MeToo #pain #guilt #assault